


Please have mercy on me

by Avril1128



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Cheating, Dark, Domestic Violence, I'm Sorry, M/M, Please Don't Kill Me, Sad, Sad Ending, Self-Harm, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:13:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26887177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avril1128/pseuds/Avril1128
Summary: He's afraid to look into the older's boy's eyes, He knows he's not that boy who he loved, who cuddled him to sleep every single night，who was always there when Harry woke up sweaty from the scary nightmares,  telling him to calm down and say that he won't let anyone harm his precious as long as he's by his side . But that boy is gone, and it's all Harry's fault. He doesn't deserve Louis, he never did, and he never will. Even though everything Louis has done to him, he still loves him. And probably he will never stop loving him. Harry has no idea how long can he continue living like this. This love hurts so bad that is burning him inside out.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	Please have mercy on me

**Author's Note:**

> It's me, Satan herself again sksjsjs:) So this is the second time for me to write a Larry fanfic. I know it's AWFUL but I'm doing my best lol. ⚠️ This fanfic contains domestic violence, self-harm & abusive relationship,it's pretty dark so if that's too much for you, leave before you read❗❗❗ And please DON'T SPREAD HATE ON LOUIS (and me)，it's just a character that I created :) Sooooo, have fun, hope you enjoy xx

Please have mercy on me

*Loving and fighting   
*Acusing united   
*I can't imagine the world with you gone  
*The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of  
*I'd be so lost if you left me alone   
*You locked yourself in the bathroom   
*lying on the floor till I break through   
*I pull you heart to feel you heartbeat   
*Can you hear me screaming please don't leave me  
*Hold on I still want you  
*Come back I still need you

Blood and tears running down through the younger boy's innocent face. He knows. He knows he deserves this, he knows he deserves every single bullshit that he is now being through.All of these abuse had led him to abuse himself as well. He beat himself up on the inside every time Louis would hurt him. You're such a disgrace, you deserved those bruises, worthless piece of trash. He is just so brain washed.. And he has no one to help him escape this trance. He doesn't deserve to be treated nicely, everything is his fault. And now, it's time for him to pay. 

The boy with curly brown hair thought as he falls to the cold empty floor. His face aches like hell for sure, he tries to control himself from sobbing loudly, but it doesn't work so well. The older boy's every single word is like a sharp knife stabbing over and over again into Harry's heart, he's bleeding. Physically and mentally. 

＂You're useless Harry fucking Styles, you have no fucking right to interfere with my life＂He kicks the boy who is curling up on the floor into the stomach. Harry lets out a scream because of the unbearable pain. He cries even harder than before, his head can't stop bleeding after Louis bumps him to the wall. ＂Lou, please stop＂He begs with deep and unhealed scars all over his face, a pair of beautiful eyes which are supposed to be green turns into red and filled with tears. His curly hair becomes a mess. But the boy with blue eyes doesn't give a shit and apparently isn't ready to stop. ＂You have no right to tell me WHEN I'm going back to home. "He kicks him into the stomach -again. Harry's eyes start to blur. " You have no fucking right to JUDGE me when I'm drinking ＂He grabbs Harry's neck tightly and push him against the wall, nearly takes his breath away. ＂Lou please stop it, it hurts ＂The younger boy trembles more violently than before. 

He's afraid to look into the older's boy's eyes, He knows he's not that boy who he loved, who cuddled him to sleep every single night，who was always there when Harry woke up sweaty from the scary nightmares, telling him to calm down and say that he won't let anyone harm his precious as long as he's by his side . But that boy is gone, and it's all Harry's fault. He doesn't deserve Louis, he never did, and he never will. Even though everything Louis has done to him, he still loves him. And probably he will never stop loving him. Harry has no idea how long can he continue living like this. This love hurts so bad that is burning him inside out.

"I love you Lou, I know you love me the same. And I'm sorry, please just let me g——＂＂SHUT THE FUCK UP! ＂Before Harry could finish the sentence, the older boy interrupts him impatiently and slap his face ——again. Louis doesn't even know if he has hitted Harry that hard before. The fragile boy closes his eyes and falls down to the floor with red scars on his cheek.   
And for Louis? He just simply walks out of door, without even looking at his boyfriend who is painfully shaking, covering his bleeding head with his hands, helplessly. Harry's whole body aches like hell, but he knows he must gets up and cleans up the blood marks on the floor, otherwise Louis is going to be furious when he comes back. 

Harry bits his lips tightly and slowly stand up against the wall. He lets out a sob because of the pain all over his body. Every step he walks is torture. He's so desperate for painkillers, but he knows that the older boy won't give him any. Harry walks to the kitchen and picks up the white towel on the dining table and walks back to the bedroom. Tears once again stream down because the beautiful memories between the two boys keep popping into Harry's mind. He once believed that he is the happiest man in the world. He will never forget the day they got married. 

Holding hands, the younger boy looks into Louis 's dark blue eyes，he can still feel the excitement at that time. There's nothing better than spending the rest of your life with the one you truly love. They sweared that they were going to love each other till the end of the god damn world and kissed recklessly like there's nobody around, what a perfect couple they were. 

It all ended when Louis started to drink. It was 1 am and he hadn't come back yet, he always comes back before 11 pm. Harry felt like a cat on hot bricks.He probably had text him thousands of messages, but he didn't answer. Harry's mind keep telling himself to clam down, Louis is just hanging out with his friends, but he just can't stop thinking, what if he cheated on him? His eyes begin to turn red. No, no he won't do that, he's not that kind of person. But what if he had an accident? These horrible thoughts made the younger boy wants to throw up. Hopefully the doorbell rang before he decided to go to the bathroom. He didn't even have time to put on his shoes and run straight to the front door. He anxiously unlocked the door using his key and let Louis came in. 

The older boy looked like a mess，the pungent smell of whisky came through his nose. "Are you drunk?! ＂He couldn't believe who he is seeing right now. "Yep, and do you have any problems with that? " He said with mocking voice and a mean face. ＂Jesus what's wrong with you? At least text me back! I worried the hell out of you"Harry complained, rolled his eyes. "Don't you dare fucking telling me what to do I'm so fucking sick of you Styles，now get the god damn hell away from me. " He yelled and walk straight into the bedroom, leaving the curly-hair boy alone in the living room with a completely shocked face. He can hardly stand straight on his own, his mind kept blaming him for pushing Louis so far,then he followed him to the bedroom, trying to apologize. Before he could say the first word, the older boy suddenly turns around and slapped his face really hard. Harry stood there still, couldn't believe what just happened，he pressed his hand against his painful cheek, tears streamed down from those eyes full of fear. "I said leave me fucking alone! Don't let me see you tonight Styles, I'll do that again. You're gonna sleep in the guests room, now LEAVE! " He screams at the younger boy, who just stood there crying.

Trembling, he walked out of the bedroom and went to the small,cold guest room. Before he could reach the bed, he knelt to the floor automatically. He wanted to grab his heart out so it could be less painful. He blamed everything on himself, he shouldn't have been that worried and he shouldn't have yelled to Louis. Thinking about this, he got up and walked to the bathroom without thinking. He wasn't planning to sleep anyway, so he grabbed a small knife，cut his pale arm again and again until blood dropped all over the floor and turned into red. This is the punishment he deserves. Although the unbearable pain on his arm makes him feel dizzy. He is so stupid, he isn't good enough for Louis, and no matter what he does to him, they won't matter. Even if he kills him, Harry will let him. 

Ever since that night, they no longer live in the same room. Louis always comes back late, with the smell of whatever the drink he was drinking. He hits the younger boy no matter what he does，purple bruises cover his whole body . But it all doesn't matter. The things that is killing him is the love bites on his neck . Louis's cheating and Harry knows, the older boy isn't trying to hide though. This is what hurts him the most, he'd rather let Louis beats him to death than seeing him with other girls, having one night stand. Sometimes, he brings girls to their home. Lying on the bed where used to be Harry's place, hearing the moaning they make when they're having sex. The more Harry cries,the more he blames himself, the deeper he cuts himself into his skin. Only the pain on the outside can reduce the pain on the inside for a short time. Of course Louis saw those cuts on the younger boy's arm, he doesn't give a shit though. Why would he care? 

Waking up alone because of those nightmares, wants to scream but he's afraid of waking up the older boy. There's a piece of him died when Louis doesn't care about him anymore. When it comes to midnight, everything becomes much worse. The pain is tearing him apart, he only wants to be cared by Louis, but he isn't there anymore when Harry needs him the most. At least the only thing Harry can do for himself is to hide his scars, pretending nothing hurts anymore and keep living. Or struggling. Harry remembers every single time he woke up painfully, Louis held him tightly like even if the world collapse , he will never let go. And now? The only thing he can do is to cut himself again and again to reduce the pain in his heart. Crying to sleep every single night while Louis is having fun with those hot models, sometimes he truly wants to end it. End his pathetic life. He doesn't even know why he's trying so hard. Maybe because deep down, he still believes Louis is still that Louis, he still cares and loves him. And for that, it's all worth it. 

After cleaning up the floor, he struggles to get himself to bed. Though it's only 5 pm in the afternoon, he's really god damn tired. He just wants to sleep for a while, take a break from reality. He sighs and goes to the guest room. There's still a picture of him and Louis at the wedding, smiling and hugging each other on the sunset. They did look cute together, didn't they? Harry thought as he gives a wry smile. He slowly lies to his small bed, avoiding himself from touching the bruises. He guess he can take a small snap before the older boy gets to home. Harry doesn't know what is waiting for him when Louis comes back, but right now, he just wants to have some rest. It doesn't take him a long time to fall asleep. 

Harry wakes up when he hears someone knocking on the front door in an impatient way. Louis comes back. He jumps out of the bed and rushes to the door. Louis is already standing in front of the door with a poker face. "Lou, you're back" Harry gives him a warm smile, purple bruises on his pale face and fragile arms are still visible. 

"We need a talk. "Louis says with a cold voice. God this can't be good. He takes a deep breaths,he's ready. What can be worse than getting punched? But he still smiles and follow Louis to the living room. Louis grabs a bottle of whisky and drink. Harry wants to stop him but he knows Louis would definitely get mad. "So..... Emmm what is it Lou? "After 5 minutes preparing himself, he asks nervously. "Well, I'm sure we both know that this day will eventually comes. "Louis says with a small, pity smile on his face. The younger boy nearly chokes himself. "Calm down, this isn't what you think it is. " Harry keeps telling himself, but honestly, he can hardly stand straight. 

"We need to break up Harold, we both know it's the best way for us. "

No..... No this can't be real. H..... He must having a fucking nightmare. "I'm..... I'm sorry? "Tears are already falling down from his face. He's not able to breathe, everything around him is falling apart. He quickly holds on to the wall behind him, avoiding himself from falling.   
"I said, the best way for us is to break up! Are you fucking deaf? "He yells. But he apparently regrets a little bit after seeing the younger boy in front of him finally can't help himself but falls to the floor. 

"I'm sorry H, but I.... I met someone else. "Louis sighs. "We've been together for a while and..... I propsed to her today, she said yes. " He looks into Harry's broken eyes, doesn't seem to be sorry at all. All Harry wants to do drown himself in the poison, his body is burning from inside out. "I'm..... Sorry Lou, I promise I will change, I know I didn't treat you well enough I'm such an idiot please just give me one more chance, please I don't know what can I do without you"Harry cries out, kneeling down before him and begging him to stay as the older boy gives a pity face and sighs. "Just..... We won't get back together Harry. Just give me the key of the front door Amd let me go. You don't want to see me get mad, don't ya? "

"No"Harry wants to throw up so bad. He whispers as he sits against the wall, clutching the tiny key in his hands tightly. This is probably the first time Harry doesn't obey to Louis' order. "I'll give you one more chance Styles, give me the fucking key. " The younger boy closes his eyes, knowing what's coming next, he doesn't move or respond to Louis. The boy in front of him who's definitely going to hit him is the only one he has. Harry removes the tears on his cheek and wait. 

"You're giving me no choice Styles. " Louis slaps his boyfriend hard in the cheek. A quiet but broken sob comes from the younger boy 's mouth. But he doesn't cover his head with hands to protect himself this time. Instead, he clutches the key in front of his chest much tightly.

Louis is truly pissed off this time. He drags Harry's hair which force the younger boy to stand up and throw him to the wall. Harry's head starts to bleed. His eyes have been swollen for a long time because of crying. Although his head is already badly wounded, but still, He doesn't let go. He closes his eyes again and wait. Wait the older boy to punch him again, but no matter what, he won't let go. 

Louis is like being possessed by some kind of demon, repeatedly kicking the boy who is curling on the floor into the stomach. Which leads the old wounds on his body once again torn open. Harry's body can't help but shake violently for the entire time. "Give me the god damn key! You think I won't kill you huh? " Louis yells with anger running through his veins.

But Harry isn't scared. What can't be worse than losing his beloved ones? Louis is the only good thing that happened in his pathetic life.   
"No. "Harry gives a bitter smile. He's heart has been torn open for million of times. "On contrary Lou, I think you will."Pain doesn't matter anymore,only Louis does. "I know there's a gun in your left pocket, pull the trigger. Please? "He adds with a heart-breaking smile on his face. 

Louis is shocked, but shock turns into anger a few moments later. No surprise, he does grab a gun in his left pocket. It's new, Louis has never use it before. He calmly points it at Harry with a firm face, but they both know that he's scared. The gun in his hand trembles with him. "Do it Lou, I'm tired. I'm tired of disappointing you again and again. You said before, I don't deserve to live, so please just fucking end it. " Harry screams as tears falling down. After all these years, he's finally ——broken. His heart has been ripped open for so many times, it never healed. Every time after Harry covers the bruises on his skins under his sleeves, he pretends everything is just fine, he doesn't care at all. But it doesn't. The wounds on his skin and heart never healed for once, he just keeps avoiding the truth so it won't hurts so much. 

Harry isn't scared anymore. He struggles to stand up, although his whole body is burning. "Lou.... "He slowly walks to the older boy, Louis stares at him in a threatening way, warning him not to step closer. Harry doesn't respond, keeps walking until the gun reaches his chest. "Step back! "He warns. The boy with bright green eyes holds out his right hand, slowly reaches to the shorter boy's cheek. Louis is both terrified and shocked, just stands there with confusion in his eyes. But he doesn't put his gun down. 

Harry smiles. The smile is so bright, just like what he used to be when they were first dating. Then, he kisses him recklessly to the lips, knowing this is the final end. After Louis realizes what is happening, he struggles to push him away. But the younger boy just couldn't let go. He knows,if he lets him go, he'll lose Louis forever. So he hugs him tightly, like what they used to do. 

BANG

A huge noise comes through between the two boys. Blood flows down from Harry's belly like river. He lays down his head carefully to Louis's shoulder. Trembles violently. "Oh my god..... Harry? Jesus I didn't mean..... I didn't mean to oh god what have I done " Louis cries out, watching the younger boy suffers from the pain on his stomach. The blood from the younger boy dyes Louis' white T-shirt into dark red. Louis is completely shocked and at a loss, he doesn't know what to do apart from watching Harry dying on his shoulder. 

"Hold me, please? " Harry begs, using the smallest voice he can. Because every time he breathes, the pain would get stronger. He hasn't hugged him for years, smelling the light perfume on his shoulder, god he miss this feeling. Sadly this is probably the past time he will hold him like that. The boy with blue eyes holds him tightly as tears falling down. He didn't mean to pull the trigger. Yes he doesn't love the younger boy anymore, but it doesn't mean that he wants to kill him. Louis was just so in shocked because his kissed him on this lips, so he shoot him without realising what he was doing. 

Louis can feel the heart beat of the boy in front of him is getting weaker. Blood covers the floor like a red carpet. "Hold on Harry, I'm going to call 911. Just.... Stay with me, alright? "Louis whispers to Harry as he tries to put the younger boy on the floor to pick up his phone. "No Lou. "Louis can hardly hear what Harry said. "I'm tired, just let me go. " He keeps coughing Blood while he is saying this sentence, this nearly wasted all of his energy. But Louis doesn't listen to Harry, still puts him down slowly and carefully on the cold floor. "Don't " Harry grabs Louis's right hand before he's going to call an ambulance. He stops, watching him with regret on his face. 

"Please have mercy on me Louis Tomlinson. "He sobs while the other boy is at the edge of broken. "I love you and I'm sorry for wasting your time, Lou. I hope she's good enough for you. Good night. "

That was the last thing that Harry said to Louis. 

End.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright for god's sake I finished it. I know the ending and my writing skill sucks, honestly I wasn't planning to write it this way but I don't have enough time so that's it): Thank you for reading this,feel free to leave a comment and tell me ur thoughts! my Twitter account is @Avril1128_ if u want to find me, have a nice day xxx  
> (AGAIN this is not real please don't be mad at Louis he is our precious x)


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